Catcalling is no validation of beauty

23 year old Poppy Smart recently made the news for going to the police about being catcalled every morning on her way to work by the same group of builders. Of course, the media exploded, with her critics claiming it's a compliment to be catcalled, and that it's harmless fun. It's often men who say these things and, I imagine, often the same men who are guilty of it and trying to justify their actions. However, there are plenty of women who too take the same opinion. It is funny that a popular come-back aimed at the 'prudes' and 'idiots' who complain about catcalling, is that they're just jealous because it doesn't happen to them. In my experience it is often the women who get it the most who complain, and those who don't saying things like 'I wish I got catcalled'. This came up on the always delightful Loose Women the other day, where plenty of viewers expressed the sentiment that they wished they got catcalled, or that they enjoy being complimented. In my last post I wrote that I do not like women telling other women what to do, and I would not want to tell other women how to feel, but I do feel there is something a little naive about this.

I imagine a scene playing out in these women's heads, the ones who wished to be catcalled: It's a sunny day, maybe they've just done their hair, their make up is on point and they've lost a few pounds. They feel great in themselves that day and they want other people to notice it too. As they walk through the streets heads are turning, attractive men are whistling and in that moment they feel like like one of those women in those adverts who eats nothing but Special K. However this is not how catcalling is experienced. Catcalling is when you feel ugly and you want the ground to swallow you but men are shouting at you anyway and you do your best to pretend not to hear them. Catcalling is being told you look beautiful and being told you look anorexic during the same day. Catcalling is having a car pull up and a group of boys call you a fat bitch. Catcalling is taking your dog for a piss outside your flat and being told to smile. Catcalling is being told by a stranger they would like to do you up the arse. Catcalling is being physically stopped on your way to work at 7am buy two guys who are still drunk and won't take no for an answer. Catcalling is regularly crossing the road near your flat to avoid the builders who collectively stare and sometimes make noises. Catcalling is having your throat grabbed and being asked to suck a guys dick on your way home from a club. Catcalling is when you've finished a long shift where you've been verbally abused, and on the way home you get called a rude bitch for ignoring a 'hello'. These are all things that have happened to me or people I know, and I could go on and on.

The thing is, women who wish you were catcalled, there isn't a switch which you can turn off on the days where, actually, you're not in the mood. And after a while (one incident, really), the novelty of having strange men approach you and experiencing that fleeting dread which accompanies not knowing what kind of thing is going to be said or done, it wears thin, and you're never in the mood. And behind all this is the idea that it's a compliment. Is it a compliment though? In my above list I included some insults, because in my experience it is all one in the same, and the line between a compliment and an insult is very thin. It is just men feeling entitled to tell you exactly how they feel about your appearance - good or bad - and it is interesting how quickly the good can turn to the bad once you haven't accepted their compliment with a wee courtesy and a 'thank you sir'.

Women who wish to be catcalled, please do not seek validation of your beauty in stranger's comments. They are as mindless and as fickle as they could be. They are often just a reflection of societies attitudes which places young and pretty at the height of what is considered 'desirable', and of male entitlement to approach women however they want. Please also do not put down other women who speak out about it. We should not have to be grateful or accepting of something we never asked for and never wanted.

The sex industry, the No More Page Three campaign and why feminism needs to do better

I don't like women telling other women what to do, we have enough of that permeating society as it is. It is especially jarring for me when this is dressed up as feminism. One place where this is evident is where sex is involved, because everyone seems to think they have a right to comment on what they think is 'right' and 'appropriate'. Issues of sex are closely linked with issues of gender, and as such are feminist issues. But as with a lot of things the simple moto 'feminism = equality' is actually not as simple as it sounds. What is equality? What does it look like? How do we get there? Unfortunately a lot of the time it seems mainstream feminism wants to get there by tackling symptoms of the issues, and in doing so is actually being oppressive towards the group it is trying to help.

The sex industry sees a lot of this. The stances feminism takes often lies on opposite sides of the scale, with anti-sex work feminists arguing that the sex industry is always demeaning, always abusive, and always degrading, and sex positives on the other end of the spectrum arguing for freedom of choice and sexual empowerment. Neither of these perspectives are particularly helpful in characterising the complex and multifaceted experiences of sex workers, and neither are useful in gaining better legal and working rights, which is really the main issue in hand for the majority of sex workers. When a campaign is purely against something, it does so with little regard of the people it might be affecting. Sex work is a reality and it is often a choice made under the constructs of a capitalist patriarchal society which does not favour women, disadvantaged women especially. It is not kind to those in poverty, especially not women. But criminalising sex work, or criminalising the buyer, does not reduce the likelihood of sex work happening, but only increases the risk of violence and abuse when their work is pushed out of the sight of state support.

I'm a little bit late to the party to be talking about the NMP3 campaign, as it's 'success' came and went in a blink, but it never sat quite right for me. I feel it is a different stroke of the same brush and reflective of wider attitudes around the sex industry, and one which is appealing to mainstream feminism. However being critical of it is treading a tricky line. How can I as a feminist say that I am critical of a movement which is against the objectification of women's bodies for male consumption? I see the issue, women should be represented in the media for much more than their bodies. I hate The Sun and everything it stands for, which is misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ageism, god I could continue. They promote hatred and they should never be considered a 'family newspaper', I mean who the hell would give their kids that to read?! But I guess it is partly this which makes me feel that consensual pictures of women with their tops off is the least offensive part. How about all those gossip mags which take non consensual pictures of celebrity women to criticize and plaster over their pages? 

The NMP3 campaign was good intentioned, the accounts of women feeling undermined and abused due to Page 3 are real and should not be ignored, and to stand up against that culture and feel the heat of the backlash is a brave thing. However I am still critical of it.  At its best it felt misplaced: we can't fight the deep rooted structural imbalances which is ultimately the cause of rape and inequality (and let's not get confused, it is the structures of society, and not a consensual smiling glamour model which causes rape and inequality) by censoring one page of one appalling newspaper, but I guess it feels kind of productive to try. My more serious accusation is that I think on a deeper level there is a whiff of classism and snobbery about the whole thing which is reflective of wider attitudes towards those involved in the sex industry. Page three is not considered an acceptable way to be sexual. It represents largely working class women, for largely working class men (compared to other middle class expressions of nudity such as burlesque and others considered an 'art').  And along with all sorts of sex work, it is held up as a poor choice, and at times blamed for fuelling the abuse of women. These women are essentially being held up as responsible for their poor choices as contributing to sexual violence. It seems to be considered a right held by privileged educated middle class and feminists to comment on what are 'good' and what are 'bad' career choices, and glamour modelling is not a valid choice to be making, and this kind of thinking is often extended to any involvement in the sex industry.

By focusing on the act we are looking at a symptom and not an instigator of the same cause. By attempting to destroy these symptoms we are either demonising those involved by questioning their life choices,  or 'saving' them by campaigning to have their place of work shut down. This is dangerous, and potentially making vulnerable a group of people who are already marginalized. On the opposite end of the scale, celebrating those choices as acts of freedom and empowerment lends no help to recognising the sometimes negative realities in which the women involved are campaigning to make better. Most feminists are well meaning in their approach, but some also neglect to look further than their own privileged experience when judging other's choices. More attention and consideration needs to be paid to recognising and tackling structural inequalities, and campaigning for better labour rights for those involved in the industry.

If you are interested in how to support sex worker rights please see here and here

Feminists are ugly

Sometimes describing myself as a feminist makes me feel ugly. The suffragettes in the late 19th and early 20th century were the first feminists to be subjected to the 'ugly for speaking out' label. This manifested into physicality, through caricatures which depicted them as spinsters, with ugly defining features, and an air of masculinity. Unlovable. Challenging the norm was something which scared people and this was their revenge. I would like to say that maybe 100 years on people are a little more enlightened, but you only need to look at the online trolling of feminist writers, activists, and journalists to know that this is not the case. They are consistently insulted on their appearance (before they are threatened with rape, of course). A quick google search of 'why are feminists....' took me to 'ugly' as the first suggestion, before moving on to 'fat'. I think there is still a certain amount of ugliness associated with being a feminist, and ugly as a concept is not just skin deep.

   So when I say it makes me feel ugly, I am not referring to body image. I don't care if people think I don't shave my legs (and sometimes I don't, and I don't give a shit), and I work hard to buy all the make up and products necessary to achieve a full womanly attractiveness. My blusher costs £25. Twenty five pounds! And as the contemporary woman I am, I know how to choose an Instagram filter which best captures the blue of eyes (often Brannan). So, mostly, I follow all the rules of conventional attractiveness in a physical sense, and besides (but most importantly), I've spent the past 25 years learning to love and accept my body regardless of minor flaws and fluctuations in weight. But the 'feminist is ugly' label isn't, and never was, about appearance.

    I've always felt the need to please, which I think is a personal feeling coupled with the gendered nature of that trait. I feel I've always had an unthought of sense, before I became more politically and socially aware, that women shouldn't be too loud, too challenging, too opinionated. It isn't attractive in a woman. Where did I learn that? How did I learn it? I'm not even sure. It's not something I believe myself or think others around me believe. Neither is it the reality that any of the incredibly beautiful and strong minded feminist women I know, (of which I am insanely lucky to know many) are ever considered unattractive in any sense for their views. But still, I'm wary of speaking out too much or too strongly, because people don't like it, and it's still something rooted in me that I need to please. And being a feminist is to be ugly. And being ugly is to be unloveable. Occasionally that fear that you think is irrational, manifests into reality and it is a horrible thing. Sometimes striving to be aware of the fact we live in a racist ableist cissexist hetero-patriarchal society is too much for other people. You see their faces flinch slightly as something basic and integral to their world view becomes slightly shaken by a comment I have made. In their expression I can read that I have not pleased them, that I have gone too far and questioned too much, and brought too much negativity to their door, and that makes me unattractive. It is something I have been rejected for.

    I have often found however, that there is something liberating about the thing that you are afraid of happening, actually happening. Because once it has, there is nothing left to be afraid of. Nothing left but to grow and be stronger. I've learnt that it's important to see yourself as beautiful, and to feel confident in your body, but there is a lot to be said for having confidence in who you are and what you believe. Feminism has given me a lot of strength through knowledge and understanding, but it is still a label which is sometimes still met with trepidation. There will always be people that will find something about having opinions which challenge societal norms and assumptions an unattractive thing, but living to please others is never going to work; people will either like what you've got to offer or they won't. Loving yourself is of course the most important thing. Loving yourself physically isn't enough, you have to love every part of you, and that includes every belief you have which might make other people feel uncomfortable.

Laurie Penny, Unspeakable Things

"Whoever we are, our understanding of gender, politics and feminism is going to be conditioned by our experience of love and sex, especially if we are straight. When we speak of fighting sexism, whether we know it or not, we’re bringing our broken hearts to the table, we’re bringing our wounded pride to the table, all those stomach-twisting sexual rejections, our frustration, our loneliness and longing, the memory of betrayal, the pain of our childhoods. We’re also bringing the anxious heat of our desire, our passion for our friends and partners and children, every time a lover has laid a hand softly over a part of your soul you didn’t know was stinging and soothed it. All of that at once, and more, and more, because gender politics are personal as well as political, but that doesn’t mean the political has to collapse into the personal"

This extract is from Laurie Penny's book, Unspeakable Things: Sex, lies and revolution (of which you can find an extract of here. or even better buy it, because it's amazing). I started with this quote though because it poetically and emotively sums up what it means to say that the personal is political. We are conditioned by our experiences, and when we comprehend, understand, discuss issues around gender and sex, it is our lived experiences which inform our understanding.
Penny's book is perfect. It looks at contemporary feminism in the way it should be looked at. As a personal experience of power which affects us all, not just females. It questions sex and sexuality in a way which needs to be questioned, it highlights the intersectional nature of oppressions, and addresses the misogyny in leftwing politics, the media, the internet. Her writing is beautiful and personal, and she is able to use language to express things which are often difficult to comprehend with the limits of the english language. Sometimes experience can only be felt and understood in abstract terms before words make it tangible, and Laurie Penny did that for me.

'Snog Marry Avoid?', and how patriarchy informs our beauty standards.

If there is one show on TV which highlights the underlying beauty standards, judgements in our culture and the underlying patriarchy behind it, it’s Snog Marry Avoid?. For those unfamiliar with this programme, this BBC Three (A TV channel aimed at impressionable young people) show finds young adults, aged roughly between 16-25 and tells them exactly how awful they look. It is not just women on this show who are subjected to this, it is men too. Basically, it is people who do not conform to the ‘norm’ or the gender roles ascribed to them.

A few years ago I went on holiday to Cornwall with my family and best friend. I was going through a phase where I enjoyed wearing my hair in a big top bun. I felt it looked clean, sleek, edgy, and I felt comfortable wearing it that way. My mum, however, wasn’t sure. She didn't think it looked ‘pretty’, and in her not-so-persuasive argument to wear my hair down instead asked, ‘don’t you want men to find you attractive?’. I was taken aback, unable to answer as my head swam with reasons why this was, for me, a ludicrous question. For a start, I do not care what men think of me, I style myself based on how it makes me feel. Secondly, if a man was so shallow as to base his attraction to me on my hair rather than who I am as a person, then I am not interested. Thirdly, amazingly, I still manage to find plenty of people who find me attractive regardless of how I style my hair. I think it is important to add that my mum is a wonderful supportive women, who in general does not hold sexist or backwards attitudes. I was brought up reading The Independent for god sake. I think of this day on a regular basis, not so much for any kind of resentment towards my mother, but as a stark and personal reminder about the pervasiveness of the attitudes of the society in which we live in.  There is no sexism worse than the sexism which seeps out, casually, unnoticed, from the mouths of the people we love.

It was with this in mind, the idea that women should dress for men’s desire, that I watched a recent episode of Snog Marry Avoid?.  The participants on the show, and this episode focused on a couple of young women, are asked to enter ‘Pod’, a white room where a robotic women’s voice echoes like some omniscient authority, asking questions like ‘why are you wearing so much fake tan?”, “do you think those eyelashes look good?”, and “why are you wearing a iceskating suit?”. When they try to pipe up and defend their choices, men are brought out to shoot them down again. The shows producers, presumably, show a selection of random men on the street a picture of the girls. They then vote on whether they would ‘snog’, ‘marry’, or ‘avoid’ the girl in question, and provide helpful comments like, ‘she wears too much make up’, or ‘I’d defiantly avoid her in a club because she looks plastic’. She is then presented with the exact percentage of men who would avoid her, as some kind of confirmation of the terrible mistake she is making.

At times the show forgets itself and realises that maybe it needs to bring down the misogynistic tone. It does this by pretending the show is about empowerment and making the girls feel better about themselves, by freeing them from the constraints of the idea that they need to wear lots of make up or not much clothing in order to feel good about themselves. It is this deceit which possibly incites me the most, because it is patriarchal bullshit trying to disguise itself as liberation. They are not liberating these young people from anything, they are just transferring them from one type of subordination to another. Or worse, as many of the participants on the show may identify with a certain subculture such as cyber goth, hippy, alternative/metal, or drag and gender queer. The show runs on the assumption that to belong to one of these subtypes is inheritantly bad, and tries to prove this by asking (male) strangers what they think.

In the particular episode I watched they showed one girl - who happily and unashamedly described her style as taking influence from drag style and glam rock androgyny – and tried to normalise her based on our cultural beauty standards. She, however, had other ideas. After the ‘make-down’ (where they re-do the participant’s hair, make-up, clothes, to make them look unrecognisably boring), she stated that she felt the hair and outfit was vile. When a new selection of public men approved of her new ‘cute’ look, she scoffed. Good. She should not let strangers tell her how to feel about herself. She soon reverted back to her old look, and in case the premise of the show wasn’t obvious enough, the presenter brushed over the fact that she did not feel comfortable with her new and natural look, and instead asked, earnestly and persistantly, ‘but what did your boyfriend and dad think?’.

I’m not against making people feel good about themselves. But this is not what this show is about. Snog Marry Avoid? is about taking people who deviate from the norm in various forms, making them look more ‘normal’, and telling them that now people will find them more attractive. The show is an obvious manifestation of this widespread attitude. It is a theme constantly reflected in our culture and media through advertising, magazines, and fashion. Sometimes it jumps from the abstraction of the media and into our lives, and it is why we are asked by people close to us, ‘don’t you want men to find you attractive?’.

Rape Myths: What are they, and why should they be challenged?

Recently, there have been a series of rapes in my city which have received some news coverage. One incident where an 18 year old girl was walking back from a night out and was raped by a couple of strangers, and a couple of cases where men have entered a women’s toilet in a pub, and raped a women. These are what I am going to call ‘classic rapes’. By this I mean, the kinds of scenarios people, the general public, society, think of when they hear the word ‘rape’. They are, in fact, a relatively small proportion, as most rapes are committed by an assailant known to the victim. (Personally I do not like taking about rapes as ‘different types’ as this can lead to thinking of abuse as being hierarchal, and therefore having the effect of downgrading some survivor’s experiences)

Browsing the online comments under the reports, I started to see a theme. Some people were wondering what on earth an 18 year old girl was doing walking alone at night, surely this was an invite for trouble. Not only a woman mistakenly thinking that she could safely walk in a public space at night, but a teenage one at that! Foolish girl. Under the comments for the public toilet rapes, people were questioning how could we silly women have let a man walk in? Foolish women. We should know, shouldn’t we, that men have an overpowering and insatiable sexual appetite?!

A few days later I spoke/ranted my concerns with these attitudes at a male friend. He agreed that these comments were vile and ignorant, and he tried to soothe my anger with the assurance that it doesn’t matter because these people are Daily Mail right wing ‘morons’ and it’s not like I have friends who hold these attitudes. He was right, of course. These people are obviously morons, not the sort of people I spend time with. I am luckily enough to be friends with wonderful, intelligent people, male and female, who all hold positive feminist attitudes, and living in the comfort of that soft cushioning bubble is great, it really is. But to leave it there, and to think that these attitudes will not and may not ever affect me and other women is unwise. Foolish, even.

Before I explain why, I am going to give a few examples of rape myths to highlight what they are, the kinds of comments which perpetuate these myths, and explain why they are bullshit. (There are many problematic attitudes that people hold regarding rape, I’m sure you will encounter them but I will not bore you with them all, as this is not an exhaustive list).

Firstly, there appears to be this widespread belief that women and children lie about their abuse. Now, this one is quick to nip in the bud. There is no evidence to support this claim: only around 9% of UK rape allegations are found to be false, which is no higher than any other form of crime. Often, and particularly in the case of children, the false accusation may cover up other, separate, abusive issues. Because after all who would want the negative stigma, the disbelief, the victim blaming, associated with being raped?

Victim blaming is another common rape myth, one which was highlighted in my initial example of online reading. This includes things such as blaming the victim for what they were wearing, what they were drinking, how they were acting, how they were in the ‘wrong’ place. It is anything, basically, which can put the blame on to the victim and somehow justify or excuse the perpetrator’s action. These things do not matter. I think it should be obvious, but victim blaming can often be quite subtle. For example there were recent NHS posters warning young women not to drink too much because it leaves them open to sexual assault. Being vulnerable is not an invitation. A man is in control of his actions, he is not a thoughtless senseless sex crazed animal, and to be honest it is degrading towards men to consider them as such. Victim blaming can also be quite obvious. For example in a case against a footballer who was accused of rape, the defendant’s dress worn on the night in question was used as evidence in favour of the accused footballer. The accused was acquitted.

Talking about drinking too much brings us nicely to the issue of consent. Most people like to think of the narrative of rape as a stranger attacking a tearful girl who runs off into the night. But what about if the victim knew the attacker? What if they agreed to go on a date with them? Agreed to go back to their house? Maybe they were consensually kissing? What about when things go too far and she asks him to stop? Some may struggle with the concept that consent can be given but also taken away.

Some people seem to think that there might be a script to go along with rape, and that there is a specific and ‘right’ way to act during and following, and that by not following this script, it somehow means that it wasn’t rape. So, for example people who perpetuate this myth might say, ‘well, why did they not fight back?”, or “if it was rape, then why did they stay the night?”. There are many reasons why women might not fight back, they may feel the threat of more physical violence from resisting, their bodies may have frozen from trauma and gone into a state of shock, they may have felt coerced into having sex and therefore not resisted, this may particularly be the case if the rapist was their partner or someone they knew. To look at the second question, the above explanations can also be applied, but also, so what? Why should their response take away from the trauma of the situation? This view does not account for the overwhelming variety of human responses, which are often not rational anyway. The idea that there is a normal and proper way to respond to an abnormal situation needs to be dropped.

I hope this has made it clear, (for those who weren't sure) that sex and rape are entirely different. Sex is a consensual act and rape is about power and control. Secondly, that there is no 'right' kind of rape, one which makes perfect sense in our narrative of how we view rape and indeed rapists, nor is there a 'normal' way to respond during or after.

So back to my original question, which is why does it matter if people hold these views? When I use the term ‘widespread’, I mean it. The people spewing ignorance on local newspaper comment sections are not invisible people, never to be a part of society or have the chance to act on these views. They could be friends or family members or colleagues. Or they could be involved in a job meant to help. Some policemen, worryingly, hold very strong rape myths when dealing with rape victims. Consider that they may be members of the jury, ready to hear and decide on a rape case, (few are successful by the way, but I won't depress you with those statistics). And then what about all the other people not brave enough to voice their views but willing to absorb other’s? It may easy to brush off as silly ignorance but the problem is deep, and it seeps into the cracks and into not only the minds of policemen, social workers and juries, but the minds of the abused, who end up self-loathing, self blaming, confused and unsure of what to do. And what happens if you, your friend, lover, daughter, mother are sexually abused? Maybe they would be lucky enough to have friends and family who are understanding and believe them, but you can not choose your police officer, or your jury.

Rape myths perpetuate, excuse, and justify violence, and until they are challenged and torn down, nothing is going to change. 

A response to Beyonce, her VMA performance, and her critics.

Last year Beyonce rather reluctantly described herself as a feminist in an interview with US Vogue, stating ‘The word can be very extreme… but I guess I am a modern-day feminist’. In mainstream pop culture - a world where lady Gaga has said things like “I'm not a feminist - I, I hail men, I love men. I celebrate American male culture, and beer, and bars and muscle cars....”, where Bjork has mused that identifying as a feminist is to complain and isolate yourself, and where Taylor Swift has stated that feminism is about ‘girls vs boys’ - Beyonce’s luke-warm comment seemed like the pinnacle of self-awareness regarding that misrepresented little word. One of the greatest enemies to feminism is the word itself; it has been seen as a dirty word, created by angry woman who want to, like, take over the world because men are stoopid, or something. It makes people instantly defensive, because who wants to be associated with such radicalism.

Anyway, I guess Beyonce realised that there is nothing extreme about the strife for equality. During her VMA performance, watched by over 12 million Americans, she stood, so proud, so strong, and just so undeniably Beyonce-esque, in front of the blazing word ‘feminism’. Beyonce, in one fell swoop, took the controversial word and gave it a sexy new makeover, making it accessible to billions around the world, making it cool and okay. Beyonce’s performance screamed: you can like men and be sexy and have a family and wear a bra and shave your legs and STILL call yourself a feminist OMG.

Now, Beyonce is not the perfect feminist (if such a thing exists). She’s been caught plenty of times writhing around on the floor dressed oh so provocatively in a variety of leotards, she’s happily used the word ‘bitches’, and once casually mimed along to her husband rapping about domestic violence (and the lyrics were not about where to find your local abuse shelter). It’s for these and probably more reasons that she has been criticised, accused of not being a real feminist, of being detrimental to its cause. It’s not that I don’t believe these reasons are valid - I personally do not think there is ever an excuse to glamorise or make light of domestic abuse - however I disagree with the backlash against Beyonce for calling herself a feminist, and the concept of ‘bad feminism’.

Feminism is inclusive. It is progressive. A discussion. It should not be judgemental. We all arrive to our beliefs through different paths, and Beyonce may have spent her youth performing and using her body to make money, rather than huddling over a worn copy of The Female Eunuch and volunteering with abused woman, but that’s okay. People’s personal feminism will differ according to their life experiences, ethnicity, sexuality, social-economic background, and gender. We need to be accepting of these differences, and understanding that feminist choices can be based on factors that not everybody shares. People who describe themselves as feminists may not always behave as the perfect epitome of one, because that is a difficult thing to do in a society which holds such subtle and engrained sexism. As a feminist, it irks me when people think they get to decide who does and who doesn’t get to call themselves a feminist. I imagine them all, sat on their high horse, and judging people against their checklists. Feminism is not a rule book, and this is not progressive.

Beyonce’s beliefs may have come about through greater understanding, through having a daughter, and a genuine concern about gender and inequality, or conversely it could just be based on clever PR; the beliefs may be empty, and maybe she doesn’t give a shit about equality but rather the amount of publicity she gains, but unless she actually says this, ultimately, it does not matter. She has achieved what activists have taken years to achieve. She may not be the best feminist role model we could wish for, but she has torn down the walls which has made feminism inaccessible and unattractive to the masses, and opened up a conversation about what it means to be a feminist in 2014, to people who may not have considered it before, and this is progress.